Losing and Winning
by hetalianGemini
Summary: (Slight Gore, Medical, Miscarriage)


"Babe? Are you sure you're alright? I know you're upset, but it's been six months." He rolled his eyes as he snuggled closer to the pillow making no attempt to respond to his boyfriend. They both knew why he was still in bed. You see, almost ten months ago, Matt had found out that he was pregnant, both him and his boyfriend Tom thrilled by the good news. The good news didn't last long however...

(Flashback)  
Matt sat up quickly, his left hand moving to clutch at his middle, the small bump suddenly paining him greatly. He wanted to curl up and die. Reaching his right hand over he shook Tom's shoulder. Only a few moments later the lamp was on and he felt a pair of hands on him, left on his cheek and right on his shoulder.

"Gingersnap? What's wrong?" It was obvious that Tom was trying to keep a calm demeanor, he could feel his boyfriend's hands shaking from where they were on him.

"S-something feels wrong-" Nearly screaming in pain, Matt felt something splash below him, a strong metallic sent permeating the air. He felt the hand leave his shoulder, the shockwaves of pain forcing his eyes to shut.

"D-don't look down love. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

(Flashback end)

It was upsetting to think about. The fact that they had lost their first child so early on. It had set Matt into a depression after he had figured it out, he had refused to leave the bed after that point and only did so when he needed to use the restroom or at four in the morning to grab something small to eat. Tom was trying his best. He would make attempts to cheer up his only recently depressed boyfriend. Nothing seemed to work but it didn't stop him from trying.

"Do you want to talk about it? I know it still hurts but I'm here for you…." Hearing a soft voice through the door, Tom opened the door slowly, waiting to get yelled at and have something be thrown at him. But that never happened. He walked in to find Matt sitting up on the bed, his hair a mess and his face red and blotchy from crying. Quickly crossing the room, he sat on the bed next to Matt, pulling the ginger onto his lap and into a warm hug. If he weren't thinking straight he would think that there was a bag of bones in his arms.

"Shhh you're alright love. I'm right here with you." Holding his ginger close, he rocked back and forth in an attempt to soothe the other. It was quiet for a while longer, neither having a thing to say.

"It still hurts Tom. Everything hurts." Matt's voice was soft and showed that he was at risk of crying again.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to take the pain away. We can always try again when you're ready to love." Watching as the other nodded, Tom kissed the back of his jaw. It was a few more moments before he heard a soft whimper from his arms. Turning Matt's head so they would be face to face, Tom brushed oily ginger hair out of his boyfriend's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Something feels wrong. I feel like I-I had something bad. Like my insides are trying to come out." He felt something drip from him, the fluid spreading over Tom's lap where he sat. Hearing another louder whimper leave his throat, he flinched and clutched down towards his gut. Feeling Tom move his legs and glance down at the fluid covering his thighs, he had a sickening sense of deja vu. He was dying, he knew it. He hadn't been taking care of himself properly and he was going to bleed out and die leaving Tom alone. He knew he was dumb but this just proved how stupid he was. It was probably for the better that he died.

"I'm taking you to the hospital right now. I'm not going to lose you I swear." Feeling his frail body being lifted into strong arms, he let the blankets and towels be wrapped around him before he was placed into the passenger seat of Edd's car. Watching through dulled blue hooded eyes as Tom jumped into the driver's seat, he could barely keep his consciousness.

"Somebody help! My boyfriend was in pain before he passed out!" Carrying his boyfriend up to the reception desk with him he saw the receptionist's eyes widen before using her walkie talkie to call someone over. Being led into triage he was instructed to lay Matt onto the cot.

"Sir, could you give the name of your boyfriend and what occurred before your boyfriend passed out please? We will need both to treat him." Nodding he moved to hold Matt's hand, watching as a nurse inserted an IV into his other hand.

"His name is Matthew Harrison and just before he passed out in the car he was having stomach pains and bloody fluid came out of him." Watching as the nurse nodded, he was asked to help remove the blankets and towels so they could reach the areas needed.

"Any serious trauma or surgery within the last year? Are there any family histories of medical conditions?" Trying to think of anything, his mind focused on the incident from a few months ago.

"I don't think he has any medical history but he did have a miscarriage about six months ago which left him without a will to take care of himself. I've been helping to make sure he eats but I don't think he really listens. Is he going to be alright?"

"You said he had a miscarriage six months ago? How far along was he?" Watching as people in uniforms ran into the small room with machines. Wires were connected to the unconscious body of Matt.

"Four months. He miscarried four months in. It was two in the morning when he woke me up saying something was wrong." Watching as the nurse who was speaking with him ran from the room, he squeezed Matt's hand carefully before watching the dim blue eyes open slowly.

"Tom? Where-?!" Being cut off by a scream ripping itself from his throat, Matt has his eyes squeezed shut in pain. Holding the thin hand in his, Tom watched as the medical staff scurried around the room. At some point a male nurse put a syringe of painkillers into the IV, allowing a shrieking Matt to rest for a while. Being informed that his boyfriend was going to be admitted to the hospital and taken up a few floors to use a scanner he was told that he had the choice to stay behind in the waiting room. Refusing to leave Matt's side, Tom was told to stay with the gurney so he wouldn't be lost.

It wasn't long before they made it up to the fifth floor and into one of the sonogram rooms. Rolling the cart holding the machine over to the gurney, Tom watched as a cream that was almost clear was placed on Matt's stomach right over the ginger's gut. And it was only one look between the medical staff before the cream was cleaned up and they were rushed down the hall. It was only a few glances around before Tom figured out where they were, the maternity ward. But why? Is this something related to the child of theirs that never made it? Being pulled from his boyfriend's side, a nurse decided to let him in the know.

"So I'm sure that you are confused if not worried about why we brought you both up to this floor. Your boyfriend is being let know in the other room at this time. Back when he miscarried only one baby was lost, either due to a deformity or another reason that we are unaware of. But what we do know is that he has gone into labor with the living infant." This was a lot to take in. He was going to be a dad. His boyfriend was in labor with their baby. His boyfriend who was practically a medical school skeleton in physical appearance and weight. Nodding to the nurse, she smiled before leading him down the hall once more to join back with everyone else. Matt looked a little better, more color in his face and a small smile after hearing the news.

"You doing alright?" Moving over to his boyfriend's side, Tom grabbed the ginger's hand carefully, the skin covered appendage giving a weak squeeze. It looked like the other nurses had helped him into a hospital gown, the portion over his stomach raised a few inches to prove that there was some sort of life that had been growing. Using his other hand to smooth over the fabric, he could get lost in the moment if his hand wasn't being placed in a death grip.

"A-ah! I just felt something move down!" Hearing footsteps from the staff move around the room, he watched a nurse take Matt's other hand as the doctor lifted up the end of the sheet.

"The infant is moving down and through your birth canal. You should push on the next contraction." The doctor turned and spoke to a nurse as he pulled on a pair of gloves. Watching as the thin legs of Matt were placed into stirrups, he heard a sharp scream from his right. The ginger had pressed down on both hands as well as internally within his gut.

"It burns! A-a-ah! Hurts so much." Trying to keep his partner calm, he rubbed Matt's knuckles with his thumb as he spoke softly. It was a few more much calmer pushes before the doctor ordered him to stop pushing and let his body get the baby out so he wouldn't tear. It was a long and difficult process, both Tom and the nurse needing to keep Matt calm and from pushing.

"The head is out. You can begin pushing once again." The doctor was holding the head as it turned to let the shoulders out, the mother whimpering through his actions to bring his child into the world. It was plainly obvious that Matt was having a hard time with pushing, his muscles having had deteriorated over the time since the miscarriage, it taking more time to get each shoulder out than it should. By the time that both shoulders had slipped from him, Tom was sure that Matt was barely conscious and it worried him. Giving soft praises and squeezing his boyfriend's hand, trying to keep the other awake as long as possible so he could meet their new little miracle.

"It's a little girl. Congratulations." Smiling softly as the little girl- no as his newborn daughter had her cord cut and was placed into his arms, he glanced over to Matt who looked like he would pass out any moment now.

"So beautiful like her mother. I'm so proud of you sweetheart. Matt? Matt?!" Glancing over at where Matt lay, he saw no blue eyes for those were closed from viewing. The nurse who was on the opposite side switched out the IV bag before he felt his sleeping daughter being lifted from his arms.

"We need to check her for a while. You may stay here if you wish to." Nodding silently, he moved back to holding Matt's hand, not wanting to leave the ginger's side. Feeling a vibration from his pants pocket, he pulls his phone out and answers.

"Hello?"

"Tom? Where are you? Where's Matt? You both disappeared eight hours ago." Oh it's Edd, makes sense. They did take his car.

"We're at the hospital, Matt was in really bad pain and he had passed out. He's fine now, more than fine." Hearing a sigh of relief from the other end, he ran his thumb over Matt's knuckles.

"Well that's good, do you know what happened to him?" Smiling softly at the unconscious figure of his underweight boyfriend, he answered his friend.

"He had the baby, Edd. I'm a father now to a beautiful baby girl."

"But I thought he miscarried the baby months ago." He held the thin hand carefully, not wanting to break it if he held too tight.

"The doctors think that when he miscarried that his body was trying to keep him and the second baby safe. That the miscarried baby was deformed or had bad genetics. But they're both alright. Matt's asleep and they took the baby to run tests." He rubbed his sockets with the back of his hand before putting his phone back against his ear.

"I'm so happy for you both Tom. I'll be there soon." Hearing the other end click, he hung up before putting his phone back into his pocket.

It was a few hours before Matt re-awoke, his body sore and a tray of hospital food on the desk next to him. Tom looked to where he heard shuffling, the game on his phone forgotten for the moment. Smiling at seeing his boyfriend awake and looking around, he stood from the chair and moved over and away from the small cart that was next to him.

"Tom what?"

"You had a baby gingersnap. We're parents of a living and breathing beautiful baby girl. But eat first, the doctor says that you're dangerously underweight and that if you weighed any less that the baby wouldn't have survived as well as she did." Placing the tray on his boyfriends lap, he helped move the top of the bed up so Matt was sitting up. The ginger looked confused for a few moments before his eyes widened, his blue lakes growing brighter.

"We have a baby girl… I gave birth to a little girl Tom!" Smiling back he kissed the other's forehead. Watching as Matt ate some, he moved back over to the cart before rolling it closer to the side of the hospital bed. Soft whimpers came from the bundle laying in the mobile prison, the little girl wearing a light blue hat with purple butterflies on it and swaddled in a matching blanket. Her small tufts of ginger hair peeked from the edges of the hat as the small amounts of freckles covered her cheeks. Her mouth was opened in a displeased cry, her lungs working hard. Her father picked her up and bounced her softly, her cries becoming softer but not stopping.

"Can I hold her?" Nodding, he helped Matt position their daughter so he was holding her correctly. Matt smiled softly at the small girl in his arms. There was a soft knocking on the door before it opened, a balloon and a small bear in one hand of their roommate and what looked like a diaper bag in the other.

"Hey Edd. Didn't expect you to get here so soon. Come in I'll take that." Letting the dark brunette into the room, Tom took the items and placed them onto a counter.

"Aww she's so cute! I'm kinda surprised that she hid herself from both of you." Edd was looking at the small ginger, suckling from her mother with her eyes closed. She looked close to that of a China doll. But was undoubtedly cuter.

"So are you going to tell me her name or have me call her them till I get it right." Chuckling at what their friend said, Tom and Matt looked at each other.

"Her name is Terra Marie Riken. Our little rainbow." Matt was the one to speak up, his soft voice disrupting the little girl in his arms. Two small sockets opened for the first time, a soft coo leaving her mouth.

2630 words

I swear to god this has taken me too long to finish because I didn't know where to go at like 4 parts.  
Need to post the submissions rip

~Mari


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